The Art of Negotiating: How to Not Leave Money on the Table

At its core, negotiation is nothing more than communication with results. Understanding
negotiation at its core allows you to take control of the conversations that will influence
your life and career. Listening is not a passive activity, rather it is the most active thing you can do.
Often, people enter a negotiation with the perspective that it's a battle between two arguments. Instead, listen to the cues presented by your counterpart and recognize the arguments and counterarguments they are relaying. Seek first to understand, then to be understood because this allows the other party to feel safe while conversing with you therefore they will be more likely to open up.

It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

Your voice is your greatest asset. Your tone is everything. To be effective, you should
adopt a positive, playful voice that makes you sound relaxed and good-natured. When
people are put into a more positive frame of mind, they think quicker and are more open
to problem-solving and collaboration. For a more serious or professional negotiation,
inflecting your voice downward, indicates you have everything firmly under control.

Mirroring

Humans avoid opposition and difference, when you mirror your opponent’s body
language, vocabulary, and speech patterns, it encourages them to trust you as you feel
familiar due to commonalities. This can be as simple as repeating the last three words
someone has said back to them. By doing so, they will likely elaborate on what they
said, and this will increase the connection between you two.

Beware of Yes, Master No

Responses such as yes and maybe, are often worthless. But "no" always alters the
conversation. “No" is commonly tied to negative connotations, but it’s what good negotiators should
aim for. It allows them to identify what their counterpart wants by eliminating what they
don’t want. No is typically used to maintain the conversation and serves as a reactor
that is often in the form of a response intended to serve as a form of cooperation rather
than concluding on a real concrete decision. When you hear “no” while attempting to negotiate, you can usually tie it to one of the seven underlying meanings:

I’m not ready to agree
1. You’re making me uncomfortable
2. I don’t understand
3. I can’t afford it
4. I want something else
5. I need more information
6. I want to talk this through with someone else

"That's Right"

It’s the winning strategy in any negotiation. To get your counterpart to agree with a
statement your presenting, try utilizing the following tactics:
● Effective pauses: Encourage your opponent to keep talking
● Minimal encouragers: Use simple phrases to provoke your opponent into
revealing more about what they’re thinking
● Mirroring: Repeat what the opponent has said back to them
● Labeling: Identify and name what your opponent is feeling
● Paraphrasing: Repeat back what your opponent is saying in their own words
● Summarizing: Use a combination of labeling and paraphrasing

When your counterpart says, “That’s right,” they feel like they’ve been listened to and
appreciated, and they will trust you more. Once you’ve shown them that you understand
their needs and feelings, possible outcomes present themselves, and you’ve paved
your way to a successful negotiation.